Bonjour from CAAAAAAHRNZ!

Jen looks over Cairns while Otis Dabs - it's still 2015 for Otis in some ways

(Dateline Chris)

Hello reader! Man, it's been an enervating week for your THRW correspondents. I know we haven't told you of our adventures up-to-date - I think we left you way back in Cambodia? Man, that was a looong time ago, but in lieu of another recap episode, let me tell you where we're at now.

On my sister Kara's birthday (barely) we flew from Denpasar Indonesia to Cairns, Australia. Our flight left at 11:55 PM and arrived only 4.5 hours later in Cairns and it was rough. In the meantime, the beloved fourth Gannett-Len, Balboa the traveling dog, was found to have a tumor in his spleen and had emergency surgery on the 18th. He is back home with his second family and recovering well, but we are waiting for the pathology report on his tumor. Depending on what we find out, some or all of us may head home early to give him our best care.

Balboa on all our minds

What about Australia though? Well, I can tell you that Cairns is hot. Miami in the summer hot. It's also a pretty small town, spread out with not a lot of there. For our Westchester readership, it's basically tropical Mt. Kisco. It has rainforested mountains in the near distance, often wrapped in clouds. It does have a beach, but when we visited it, it seemed like it was shallow for a super long way and the signs are very persuasive at keeping you on dry land! Cairns does have a nice shoreline promenade and a very large public pool open for everyone.

No Beach Access: Stingers (jellyfish) may be present and Crocodiles have been sighted in this area. Right-o! NJDEP should try this

But what about the question you've all been wondering: what wildlife has thus far tried to kill you, and how many of you are still alive?

Well, I'm happy to report we are ALL still alive (though Jen is feeling a little sick). I did see a centipede the size of my hand walking down the sidewalk like it was a pedestrian. We did see a meter long snake in the jungle (it seemed suspiciously disinclined to bite anyone, I suspect it was an attempt to lull us). There are these ominous giant sandpiper looking birds that crowd into the town parks at night. So far though, no fatalities - no casualties even. Though the Great Barrier Reef is coming up soon. Crikey!

Probably some sort of Tiger Death Taipan

Jennifer practices her avoidance response, though she needn't have worried, I think this is a Dendrelaphis calligastra, aka a Northern Tree Snake

Some other observations about Cairns:

 There are many National Parks near Cairns, this is Barron Falls in Barron Gorge National Park

Much of the rainforest near Cairns is cassowary critical habitat. We didn't see any cassowaries, but here's an Australian bush turkey we saw right in the Barron Falls parking lot. As Otis would say, your hairline is an Australian bush turkey (no offense, dear reader, you've a lovely hairline).

Australia never fell out of love with the El Camino. Here is what appears to be the lovechild of a Ford Ranger and a Pontiac Grand Prix. A wise people, the Australians.